it was like his penis was on wheels.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
cat food counts as protein by the way
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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