I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
