so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
