yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize