even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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