The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
