So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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