Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
