Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
