so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize