i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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