two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
