It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
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