Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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