Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize