:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize