He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
