Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
