My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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