She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
