that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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