Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
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