babies were throwing up all over the place
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
