TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
