people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
