Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
