Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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