covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize