It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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