i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
