By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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