Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
