the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
