My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize