Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so let's talk penis.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
