It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
