Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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