Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
