exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
