Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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