Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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