i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
