Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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