i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize