whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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