He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You pole danced in your parka.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
