It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Are my feet made of real feet?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
