somebody snuck up and got me drunk
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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