i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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