im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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