i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
