she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
