apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
