And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
