Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
the day after is always just damage control
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
