i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
