Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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