HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
