i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
